Reclaim Your Power and Build Healthy Entitlemen
Are you finding yourself caught in the complex dynamics of a relationship where you constantly feel off-balance, confused, or questioning your worth? You’re not alone. Relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies can be exhausting, often leaving both parties feeling misunderstood, unfulfilled, or lacking confidence. The good news is that with awareness and effort, both individuals in such relationships can reclaim their power, build a healthier sense of self-worth, and establish more balanced interactions.
Understanding why you’re drawn into these relationships and recognizing the patterns that keep you stuck is the first step toward healthier dynamics. At its core, being in a relationship with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits often points to imbalances in entitlement—where one person might have an inflated sense of entitlement, and the other a deflated one. Let’s explore how both parties contribute to this dynamic and how to start creating healthier patterns.
What Is a Narcissistic Relationship?
A relationship characterized by narcissistic tendencies involves a dynamic where one person may be overly focused on themselves, their needs, and desires, often at the expense of the other person. This can manifest in behaviors such as a need for excessive admiration, a lack of empathy, or a sense of superiority. Meanwhile, the other person in the relationship might have a tendency to minimize their own needs, prioritize the other’s desires, and struggle to assert their boundaries.
This dynamic creates an imbalance where one person often takes on a more dominant role, while the other becomes increasingly accommodating or submissive. Both positions are self-protective strategies: one person’s inflated entitlement seeks to control or dominate to feel secure, while the other’s deflated entitlement avoids confrontation or prioritizes the other’s needs to maintain harmony.
Why Do We Get Caught in These Dynamics?
Being drawn into a relationship with narcissistic traits is often a reflection of deeper issues related to self-worth and entitlement. Here’s how both parties might contribute to the dynamic:
- Lack of Healthy Entitlement
People with a lack of healthy entitlement may not feel they have the right to assert their needs, set boundaries, or expect fair and respectful treatment. If someone has grown up believing that they need to earn love through self-sacrifice, they might gravitate towards partners who reinforce this belief by prioritizing their own needs above theirs.
On the flip side, someone with an inflated sense of entitlement might not see the importance of respecting others’ needs and boundaries, believing their own desires should come first. This can lead to a pattern where they feel justified in dominating the relationship.
- Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Imbalances
In relationships where one person has low self-esteem and the other exhibits narcissistic traits, both contribute to the dysfunctional dynamic. The person with low self-worth might feel they need to constantly please or validate the other to gain love and acceptance, while the person with narcissistic tendencies might depend on this validation to bolster their own sense of self-importance. This creates a cycle of dependency and reinforces each other’s behaviors.
- Fear of Rejection or Abandonment
Fear of rejection or abandonment can drive both people to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Someone with narcissistic traits may use tactics like love-bombing to create strong emotional bonds and dependency, fearing being abandoned or rejected. In contrast, the person with deflated entitlement might fear losing the perceived affection or validation, which makes them stay in the relationship even when it’s unhealthy.
- Conditioning and Childhood Experiences
Both parties often bring past conditioning and childhood experiences into their relationships. Those who were raised in environments where love was conditional or where narcissistic behavior was normalized might find themselves recreating these dynamics as adults.
People with inflated entitlement might have learned to dominate or manipulate to get their needs met, while those with deflated entitlement might have learned to suppress their needs to avoid conflict or gain approval.
Recognizing the Signs of Imbalanced Relationships
To create more balance in a relationship where narcissistic tendencies are present, it’s crucial for both parties to recognize how their behaviors contribute to the dynamic. Here are some patterns to be aware of:
- Doubting Perceptions: Both partners might struggle with doubting their own perceptions, especially if gaslighting is present. The key is recognizing when this happens and working to trust their own experiences.
- Seeking Excessive Validation: One person may need constant validation and admiration, while the other might provide it to keep the peace. Recognizing this pattern can help both parties understand how it reinforces the dynamic.
- Neglecting Self-Care: If one person always puts the other’s needs first, both lose out—one fails to set boundaries, and the other becomes overly reliant on being prioritized.
- Unaware Manipulation: Both might engage in manipulation—one to gain control, the other to avoid conflict. Developing self-awareness can help both recognize these patterns.
- Accepting Exploitation: Acknowledging when one is being exploited or when one is exploiting the relationship for personal gain is essential for creating a healthier dynamic.
Steps to Rebalance Your Relationship Dynamics
If you recognize that you’re in a relationship where these patterns are present, the next step is for both individuals to work towards healthier behaviors. Here’s how:
- Acknowledge Mutual Contributions
Both parties need to recognize how their behaviors contribute to the relationship dynamic. This requires honesty and willingness to see oneself and the partner more clearly. It’s about understanding that both inflated and deflated entitlement play a role in maintaining the imbalance.
- Build Healthy Entitlement Together
Healthy entitlement means both parties recognize their rights to their own needs, boundaries, and feelings. This involves developing a balanced sense of self-worth and ensuring that both people feel deserving of respect and kindness.
Each person can start by identifying and challenging their own limiting beliefs—whether they believe they deserve more than they’re receiving or less. Replace these beliefs with more balanced ones that support mutual respect and fair treatment.
- Develop Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence
Both partners should work on self-awareness and emotional intelligence to better understand their own emotions, triggers, and behavioral patterns. This helps them respond to situations more thoughtfully rather than reacting out of fear, insecurity, or entitlement.
Practices like mindfulness, journaling, or meditation can help both individuals stay grounded, recognize their own patterns, and learn to communicate more effectively.
- Set and Respect Boundaries
Healthy relationships require boundaries from both parties. Boundaries protect emotional well-being and ensure that each person’s needs are met. Both individuals need to identify what boundaries are necessary for a healthier dynamic and work to respect each other’s limits.
This might involve difficult conversations about what each person will and won’t tolerate, and both need to commit to honoring these boundaries.
- Practice Self-Care and Mutual Respect
Both individuals must prioritize self-care and respect for each other. This means taking actions that support mental, emotional, and physical well-being and showing compassion and understanding for each other’s needs and experiences.
Practicing self-care individually also means being kind to oneself, recognizing one’s own value, and making efforts to contribute positively to the relationship.
- Seek Professional Support Together
If both parties are willing, seeking professional help can provide a safe space to explore the relationship dynamics and learn healthier ways to interact. Therapeutic relationship coaching can help each person understand their contributions to the relationship and how to build a more balanced, respectful partnership.
Final Thoughts
Creating a healthier dynamic in a relationship where narcissistic tendencies are present requires effort from both parties. By recognizing the signs, building healthy entitlement, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support, both individuals can work towards a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Remember, both people deserve to be in relationships that nurture, support, and uplift them. It’s about finding a balance where both parties can feel valued, respected, and heard. Are you ready to take steps towards a more balanced relationship? 🌟
Want to get started on getting unstuck in your relationship? Contact me for a consultation and find out how Therapeutic Relationship Coaching can help.
You’ve got this! 🌟
Anne Dranitsaris, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Author, Leadership Coach
Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, or questions.
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